Found dis journal on a barstool. Wife sez I got to write better,
and she's got the rollin pin so here it iz.
Had a bunch of ale. Fell off me stool when that durn volcano
shook the ground. Bumped me head but gotta free ale outta it.
Had some more ale. Avoided rollin pin by showin her diz journal.
Life is guid.
Had some ale, den a bunch of fiery things showed up. Dat wasn't
guid. Buncha them foreigners died, so I jest hid out and had me
some ale and watched tings. Best ter just write in dis ting cuz
right now them critters is makin' the rollin pin look piddlier
than an elflin in pink bows. Lots o them foreigners helped out
so I figgered I best just stay here, tings left when the rain
More fiery tings comin. Buncha things the foreigners are callin
ventarks, just looks like a big glob of lava spit ter me. And
these evil little fire spirit tings, look like elflins cept they're
on fire, I thought elflins on fire wuz guid...but tink I ain't
right wit dese tings. Then there's dese giant rock things that
roll around like dey were some big ol' boulder. Almost got crushed
by onna those when I took me a peep outta me hidey hole, den some
wacky foreigner charged after it. Buncha guys in robes too, all
tall but thin like pansy elflins, cept they ain't. They're all
fiery and lookin like they leadin the other tings.
Eorgaen ~ Lormesta
Haven't hed much time to write in dis. They actually not lettin
us drink ale alla time, itz horrible, gotta be posted at da gate
to keep watch, but the boys sneak in alez anyway, so its kinda
guid. Rump gets all numb not sittin on a barstool doh, but ale
Fiery tings still comin, keep getting bigger and stayin longer.
Derez this one big guy in robes dat comin with the fiery things,
looks like hes the leader. I sure ain't get near that ting, he's
spoutin off sayin the island is gonna burn and everytin. Over
my durn bloody alehouse, ya git. Well, dats what I was GUNNA say
to him but he looked kinda busy, killin the foreigners and all.
Keeps mentionin sometin about a power source. That damned volcano
ain't all calm eidder, keeps shakin the ground and burpin out
smoke. Only ting dat drives'm back iz the rain, so now we iz only
happy when it rains. Never seen it rain so much befer doh, kinna
... least I ain't have to worry bout a rollin pin no more.
Fiery tings still comin, dun't know how to stop em. Foreigners
seem kinda weary doh, they likin the rain as much az us nows I
tink. Dem mainland folk iz so wacky, goin out in the village and
even in da durn EYE! Oh wellz, can't be tryin to change wackos
else you be a wacko too cuz it just impossible. It been rainin
alot, maybe someone iz blessin us or sometin. Tings still come,
dat big guy still wantsa burn down da island. Wonder what the
git's name iz... dat way I can insult hiz momma. Dat'd be great!
Wuz watchin durin the fight and diz voice kept yellin about THEM.
Tink the voice iz that fiery guy leadin all the other fiery tings.
First time I herd him all skered like dat, so I went outta me
post and looked round. All dem fiery tings were riled up when
he said that THEM was comin, hadda hide real guid. Hung around
dat place where da foreigners are, around dat statue of Hymirth.
Dat big fiery guy wuz dere around alotta corpses o dem foreigners
yellin about how he was gonna burn the isle down and dat dey'd
all die. So I went into hidin watchin him and he wuz doin dis
spell ting knockin and burnin everyone wit wavez of fire... but
right before he did da next one, diz...diz PUDDLE rose up and
started ARGUIN wit him! I seen some strange tingz after alotta
ale but this iz toppin it.
Soz diz puddle ting formed into a shape like a human and wuz
standin there, and the fiery guy went nutz and screamed and den
the water-guy hurled diz big stream of water at him and killed
him. All da foreigners wuz all happy and so wuz I, but then this
puddle-guy started TALKIN! Said hiz name was Nelemar... if I dinn't
just see him hurl dat water like it wuz nothin and kill that other
fiery ting, I'd say he wuz a panzy. But he went to explainin that
he wuz an elemental and so was dat fiery guy, and dat da fiery
guys name wuz Avregol. Kept sayin that lotsa the fire-tings should
be stronger cuz of the volcano bein all gurgly and active nows,
but that the Avregol guy shouldn't be havin so much power and
he wuz wonderin why. Said he wuz gonna send the children of da
sea to help out wit dem fiery tings and the foreigners was all
happy bout dat, so wuz I kinda. Den he left after askin em to
scout out volcano. Durn nutzo elementals and their durn nutzo
foreigners... goin IN the volcano! They're CRAZY! Den he said
dat he'd been sendin the rains to help out, and den he called
'em again and everytin was guid. I be kinna glad though, cuz now
I can practice dem insults.
Avregol, yer momma izza married to a kindling!
Avregol, yer momma izza nuttin but cigar ash!
Avregol, ya couldn't burn a rollin pin if ya stuck it in yer ears
and jumped inna volcano!
Yeh, diz is good to practice.
Fiery tings still comin... dere wuz diz weird weird ting wanderin
around after when da rainz came, doh. Like a big ol water drop
the size o me fist. Wuz hoppin around like some halflin after
eatin a tart. Not be talkin much, just kinna glurblin. Been showin
up fer a while near dat statue and the fountain and playin wit
the foreigners, kinna keepin watch over em. Least someone iz doin
it, cuz I sure ain't! Crazy foreigners.
Watery ting keeps comin back after da fiery things get driven
off by rain, sed itz name, and I ain't drunk when I write dis...
sed itz name wuz Aqualthu. Weird durn name. Weird durn ting. Weird
Oh yeh, lost me train a thought there. Durn little Aqualthu ting
saved a buncha foreigners... seems dat the Avregol guy iz gettin
alot more steamed dat he be driven back, so he pulled a buncha
foreigners in da earth, and I saw dat Aqualthu water ting sink
in and bring em back up! Weird tings... I just want me durn ale
and fer the ground to stop shakin and fer the durn fiery tings
to go back in the belly of dat durn volcano. Heard dat dere wuz
anudder weird ting like Aqualthu cept it were a little flame ting.
Onna the boys saw it and said it wuz a lil shrimpy ting and wuz
all scared, an it spoke! Said its name was Chutheras... weird
durn fire pansy tings!
So dis Chutheras wuz sayin that hiz master Avregol wuz never
like dis until IT came along. Dunno what IT iz, but if it be influencin
dat arse Avregol, it sure be makin me nervous.
Bah, if it ain't one ting itz anudder. Been
alotta dark evil undead tings comin outta the ground now,
fiery tings kinda went away fer a while, but dey showed up a couple'a
times, and dat Avregol feller was mighty riled up. Kept sayin
dat the darkness ain't gonna keep him held back, no siree. Well,
mebbe not the nosiree part, but yeh. He was all ticked off dat
dese undead tings were here, and I tink that all diz stuffs in
our heads iz in his head too or sometin. Eidder way now we got
to deal wit stinky tings insteada fiery tings. Secret ale supply
be intact doh, so it ain't all bad!
Volcano gettin more angry, spittin up soot and Eonak knows what
else! Buncha foreigners got all excited cuz they found alotta
pages wit da ash. I weren't perticu'larly innerested in it, but
when tings were quiet and da boys and I had time fer an ale, onna
'em said that they heard what them pages said. I remember dat
old minin expedition out in the Eye fer riches, guess we know
what happened to em. Poor old sots, diz iz what it said.
"..expedition failed......fell through......a hole, so deep
in the ground...air scalds to breathe......men attacked by things...fire
creatures. In chamber, looks like they du.....g something...Gem...bright
gem, scarlet col.......lor so vivid. More beautiful than any ruby,
like it has an inter......nal fire of its own. Can't touch it,
burnt hands and they're.....coming. Hope someone finds this. Tell
my wife I love her...and buy my boys an ale, say its from their
Wonner what dat gem was, doh. Never heard a anytin like it and
if dwarves ain't knowin their gems they ain't no dwarf! Maybe
dem foreigners ain't so crazy fer goin in there... prob'ly lotza
Dem dark tings won't get outta my head. Heard some priest in
da temple say they were called vishmiir, den his head 'sploded...
so I ain't sayin dat durn word. Haven't been seein any fiery tings
or da watery things showin up. Must be gettin held back by dis
evil stuff. Good ting, too... I wouldn't wanna be in da middle
o DAT battle. Fiery tings, watery tings, and stinky tings... durn
dats one big mess!
Heard dat dem undead tings in me head wuz banished by some crazy
priest in Solhaven. Yeh dats right I called 'em crazy... anyone
who wanna stand up to dose tings iz crazy! Haven't been seein
anytin else doh, is kinna quiet cept fer the volcano rumblin.
Kinna feelin that its warnin us dat dem tings are comin back.
I wuz right, dey came back. Really strong diz time and REALLY
angry. Hadda hide extra guid with the boys, found some mer ale
so da night was ok. Foreigners got ripped to pieces doh, and diz
weird little pixie ting was flyin around yellin bout fun. Durn
crazy idjit fire tings, dis ain't fun! I yelled dat at her but
she kinna just giggled and flew off. Durn crazy tings.
Soz Avregol showed up in da temple, I heard onna me fellows say,
and wuz about to kill everyone. Den dat Nelemar guy showed ups
and splained tings. Seems like hez figured out why diz durn Avregol
feller iz so powerful. And dat gem that them poor dead expeditioner
sots mentioned, hoo boy dat ting iz sometin I'd wanna get me hands
on and stick it inna me grandpappy's ol' helmet, right atween
the horns! Oh yeh, I gettin ahead o meself...
So Nelemar's sayin that this durn blockhead Avregol iz too powerful
cuz he'z got diz gem, right? He said dat he suspected it all along
and wouldn't tellz us cuz it was only supposed ter be known among
the Elemental type tings and dat us uhh... I ferget what word
he used. I tink it were sub-beefer er creatures or sometin. But
yeh, he said we weren't supposed to know but Avregol let it slip
cuz o dem miners and now we knew anywayz. So he sez diz gem is
named the Fier'dracus and dat it's givin dis durn sot Avregol
a whole lotta power especially cuz a da volcano eruptin, and dat
Avregol is leechin' off diz natural event in da "Great Cycle".
Great cycle my arse, he's actin like an elflin des'prete fer power!
So hez askin the foreigners to keep an eye out fer anytin unusual
and explainin dat diz Fier'dracus ting iz like intellergent...
gems intellergent, 'magine dat! I'dda never believed it if it
din't come outta a talkin' puddles mouth, but there ya have it!
And hez sayin dat itz corruptin Avregol wit its power and it's
wantin to flare up and consume everytin on da isle. Datz just
durn great news, I tell ya. Durn great news.
Den he sez that he don't know where it iz to them foreigners,
and that he prolly hid it up real goods. He tell em to look doh,
and they said they willz. He also be mentionin dat wimpy flame
Chutheras and sayin that hez not corrupted by the power of that
Fier'dracus ting and prolly be wantin to set tings right agin.
Maybe I tell the boys not to stomp on it if dey see the pansy
ting. Anywayz, the foreigners are lookin fer it now... don't tink
they gonna find it less some earthquake splits open da ground
to wherever that idjit Avregol hid it. Better get back ta me home
now, else da wife iz gonna get mad. Dat ain't guid... lookz like
I do have to keep worryin bout rollin pins. Bah.